The Journey Of My Life

What am i still waiting

2010-09-14T17:05:00.002+08:00

Actually what am i still waiting?i really duno why...i thought the dream of you is a good start or sign showing that you will be back with me.But somehow now i doubt that will happen. I just saw something that i don't ever wanna c.I do not know what i should feel or what i so do?Why do i still embrace hope after so long?People say seeing is believing and truth is always hurt.Now i believe that the truth is always hurt. Why do i wanna go view your profile always when i know it is gonna hurt.Why does the someone character can turn so easily.I wanna change.I wanna forget everything.Everynite i just hope to c u in my dream even though it is torturing.But now, just by seeing all the picture of you, i feel like i been stab by thousand needle. I feel so suffer and i hate the feeling.It is very worst and i am tired of it,Pls wake up TEH HUAN WEN.I am so dumb and yet i only realise it now.So now i do really need to wake up.SO pls wake up Teh Huan Wen and move forward and don't ever be so dumb on hoping for something that is not going to happen.

Dream

2010-09-12T22:51:00.002+08:00

You are reappearing in my dream every night.I feel so suffocated.In my dream you seem to treat me so good and care about me so much.You make me feel like it is not a dream. But when i wake up everything is lost. What i can do i sit at the bed and try to make myself don't sleep even if i am tired.However, dreaming about you is also the thing that make me wanna keep on sleeping and keep on staying in the dream. I feel so suffocated and terrible everyday when i wake up. I know now i need to focus on my exam, however, i thinking about you more frequent by each day.Please god, let my mind be clear and let me focus on my exam.Please don't let me have these dream anymore. They ain't real. The dream are just torturing me by reliving all the time i had with her. Please, stop torturing me again.Don't let me dream things that are not possible again. I do not want to be disappointed each day i wake up and start my day with a very emotional thinking.Haiz.....What can i do....Please let me have a good sleep.........

Exam

2010-09-09T22:40:00.003+08:00

Exam is just around the corner.But it seems like i don't have the mood for exam.I just feel want to give up on everything.I don't have any confident or mood for exam at all.I keep telling myself i cannot become like that.But, it seems that it wont work.I just feel want to give up....However i am starting to feel scared about myself...I keep wanted to give up on everything.I feel like i have nothing and have no life at all.I do not understand anymore what is life all about?Haiz...I am really in a dilemma.What am i suppose to do now?I am always worry about this and that and will not move forward.What must i do in order to move forward?Haiz....

Over

2010-08-27T05:01:00.002+08:00

Her birthday is finally over but yet she still come in my mind. I had always been thinking to see her and to celebrate with her on her big 21st birthday. But i know, the time for me is over.I been wanting to see her and hear her voice for so long.However i do not have the guts to do so.I had always say that i forget her, i forget her....But how true is it?How long do i need to get over it?Why must all good things come to an end??I am always asking and asking myself..But i never get the answer. Sometimes what i can do is just to look at all my past memories with her and just smile. But after viewing the picture i had with her, i will start crying as i know those were just memories and none of it will become true again....I just wish that someone will just invent a tool to erase memory and i wish to just forget everything and be as happy go lucky as i am like the last time.So how long do i really need to just get it over with?That is an answer i will never get........

Thank You!!!

2010-08-02T02:40:00.005+08:00

From Left To Right: Me, Ai Yen and Geraldine

From Left To Right:Me, Ai Yen and Geraldine

From Left To Right: Me, Li Chi and Geraldine

This few day i feel very happy cause i have a bunch of best fren there to teman me...Yesterday went to fun fair with them.However, because we do not have a camera we did not manage to take good picture..But today they came over to my hse to discuss assignment.However what we do is playing mahjong, went to dinner and in the end play more than do assingment. But really thanks to them all because they are there for me....Thanks to all of you....If i do not manage to tag or put up ur picture hope you all dont mind....Hehe....Thanks to all of you.......

Heart Feel so empty

2010-07-28T03:33:00.002+08:00

Today i went to the Mass Comm society prom nite. I was one of the performer in a dance which i can say i do badly myself due to the stage fear. All the event during the nite was owesome, but out of a sudden i look around and saw so much people are having fun with their partner yet i am there all alone looking at them with envy eye. Out of a sudden i remember her again. I m thinking why have i not dance with her even once??why had i not brought her to any of the prom nite??maybe this was all fate that i am not going to be doing a lot of things with her.

Stupid

2010-07-23T23:19:00.001+08:00

Today i got into a quarrel with my fren of mine just now because of her....Why do i still care so much??Does this means that i still cant let her go off my mind??Why do i even care so much....I wish all this will nvr stat before so that i wont need to be suffering so long....How much longer will only you dissapear from my mind??What am i doing....To get in a quarrel with my buddy for you who dont even treasure me anymore......

Feel Empty and Stupid

2010-07-16T03:36:00.003+08:00

People always tell me that the future is bright and full with suprise.But why do i always get a suprise in a way that i dun wan it or like it.My fren always tell me to move forward and forward.But, how many of them really realise what i m thinking and how hard is it to walk even a step to the future.Why?Why?Why? All this while am i a nothing to you?You can walk into my life with just a yes...and no you leave as though that i am not there...I do not know wat to do again....I m starting to feel very very weak without you.So what is the point of you accepting me when you know you will be the one that is gonna to leave me.....I feel really empty and speechless by your move....All of the sudden i feel that the 2 month time that i had been waiting for u is a dumb and stupid move....Why??Why??Why??People always say that love change someone...Ya...i agree with them....but on my case...is just leading me to be hopeless in love again....I do not understand and know the context of LOVE anymore.....I just know the Context of Parent Love and Friendship love....No more bf or gf love...It end tonite....

Lost In Time

2009-11-29T01:51:00.002+08:00

Is it everything in life will lost after a while?Why cant some things maintain the ways it was?Izit so hard for someone to keep and love someone?Why does it happen to me?Why must i lost?Why must i be the one who is so dumb and stupid?Can everything just turn back and stay as it was....Is it so had for one to maintain the thing he have?Is life is all about touch and go?Why does it must happen on me?Why god?Why?.......

Early Birthday

2009-11-28T02:25:00.007+08:00

Gary,Ai Ying,Geraldine and Me(From Left To Right)

Gary,Li Chi,Ai Ying and Me(From Left to Right)

Today i had a big suprise from my friend.They celebrated my birthday earlier and it was a suprise as we are conducting a group meeting for our assignment Sun Zi Art Of War.And then out of a sudden, li chi and ai ying which is my groupmate say tat they wan to go out and find another one of my fren. So i did not bother much and keep discussing with geraldine and gary.And then li chi enter the room and close the light.I stare at her and out of a sudden ai ying follow from behind with a cake and they sing a birthday song for me.That truly suprise me and i m really touch and happy at the moment and not to mention i feel shy too.Anyway, thank you for everything my best fren.I really enjoy that moment and thanks for everything ai ying,li chi,geraldine and gary.Thank you all for everything.Thank you.Hope that we can stay as frens forever and hope that we all can always stay happy.Thank you again for that suprise.Love u all....

The Past

2009-11-13T05:50:00.001+08:00

Me and My "Aunty" Wee Jiea

Me and My Form 6 Ji Mui

Today, out of a sudden, i start to think back to my past.Out of nowhere, i started to recall those happy time i am enjoying in my form six and secondary life. For a fat guy who is poor and ugly like me, when i think back the thing i done in secondary, i feel like i m a idiot.Hahaha....Especially, during my form six life. During that time, i am desperado for a gf as all of my fren are mostly hook up already. So during my form 6 life, i flirt quite a lot. However, during the flirting time i also find quite a lot of my "ji mui geng".They consist of hui chi,kwei ling,xin yi and ah yee.(From left to right)Hehehe.....During that time, i had tis bunch of "ji mui" who support me when i m down.Not to forget, i also had a "aunty" who is the most supportive and most understanding.She will always be there when i need her.Even now she is also here to help me even though we are not studying together and far apart.Hehehe....The aunty i mention is Wee Jiea who is smart, diligent, and beautiful.I am loving all of them and missing the time that i had with them. Whenever i am with them, i feel that all of my trouble are so far away and i feel very comfortable and nice.How i really hope to see them soon and can have more time to spend with them. I wish that i can turn back the time and make the time to stay still during my form six life.So to my beloved "aunty" and "ji mui" i wish that we can be friends forever and hope tat we can stay in touch.Lastly, thank you all for always be there for me...I m really grateful to have all of u as my "ji mui" and my "aunty".Hehehe......

Important??

2009-11-13T05:39:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i am wondering what is important in our life?Izit studying?Working?Having Fun?or doing the stuff you like?But no matter how i think, it seems that i cant get the answer i am looking for. I do not know wat is important in my life.Izit love is the most important element for me?Or izit my family?Sometimes i really hopes that my life can be simpler.For instant, i would wish to have my friends life where they have car,always wearing branded stuff like nike and other such as smart,thin and handsome.Haha...Love is another thing that i think influence me quite a lot.For instance, when i c people in kampar pa toh so happily, i really envy them.You can c that they are so enjoying the moment where they cycle together, sending her gf home and standing out her hse to see her go up her house, holding hand and walking to campus, and lots more.This is truly a moment that i think is the best and sweet in life.How i wish this can continue and last forever.........

Unlucky

2009-10-06T02:29:00.001+08:00

Today i feel terribly unhappy.I kena saman by the stupid mbmb.Damm suay i tell u.The thing that make me most frusfated is that only me kena this stupid saman only.Beside my motor got at least 5 or 6 motor park together with me.But only me kena.Damm stupid lo.Haiz....I just went in Dataran to pay phone bill and buy smthing from Giant.Only take less than 15 minute.But come out then this stupid paper ikat nicely at my side mirror.See the paper d damm angry.Then see other ppl park longer than me all not kena.Just me.Wat happen???ARggggggggg.....Damm tension...Why so unlucky want me??Me now money crisis now come this type of shit thing....Damm it...Zzzzzz.......

Change

2009-10-04T22:30:00.000+08:00

Recently,i notice that there is some change in my all of my friends.There seem to be different than the way they use to be.I still remember the way we use to hang out,group together and have fun.However,all this had change.Now days,when we hang out,there is not so much of a fun.We contact less.Meet up less and hang out less.Haiz.How i wonder if all of this can return to the way it is,where all of us are always together,laughing each other,joking, and not to forget barbecue.Hopefully all of us can keep in touch more often and can stay as friend forever.